Alone in The City

Tatyana KasimaTatyana is from Donetsk, Ukraine – “a place of mines and steel, strange things we call home.” She has been living in Estonia for 5 years and assures us that she has loved every moment of it. She likes dance, caffè latte, books, orange juice, trains, cats, languages and autumn, and dislikes indifferent people. This is the essay she submitted to the UT Student Journalist contest earlier this autumn.

Cleaning autumn leaves is like cleaning up after a party a summer garden party with colourful straws, popped balloons, plastic packaging, cups, knives, glitter from summer dresses, and a bow tie from someone’s fancy party costume. A lot of summer colours mixed with the autumn background radiate an energy somewhat unknown to me, unexplored, a bit unreal.

I look around and see only trees shedding their colourful leaves on the ground. They have been doing it for years: They party all summer long and then take off their clothes and throw them around not that it does not look beautiful, it is a party of its own. It is a burlesque where you have only 5 minutes to change between the shows, a concert where you play different instruments, a multi-tasking job. It is like travelling, like writing an exam. How come autumn can be compared to everything?! There is something so eternal and basic in it that all activities have. Thinking more so, thoughts have this peculiarity of coming together in groups, in pairs, through associations. Being alone in the city is not truly alone after all.

I have trouble following recipes when I cook and I cannot read comic books. In my next life I am going to be a mountain; in my previous life and 6 lives before I was a cat. I do not like to be in someone else’s shoes even if they are made of crystal. Red is my favorite colour and I believe wolves are friendly.

I look at the city and the city looks back. If I ask, it will answer; if I am lost, it will help me to find myself. Aren’t these good, reassuring thoughts?! Doesn’t it make you feel like a part of the ball where being yourself is an invitation, where walking alone in the city does not mean you are lonely, where meeting strangers is meeting friends, where autumn looks never-ending. It is funny how after-the-party can become an after party – that’s a good thought indeed!

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